Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
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as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
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and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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