i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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