So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
