An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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