You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
