My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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