return my video game
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
