OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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