The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
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He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Randomize