i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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