Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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