how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You were trust falling into bushes
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
