Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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