That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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