Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
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