No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
