I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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