whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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