I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
be right there i have to get my cape
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize