i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Pants 0. Shit 1.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
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