i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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