I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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