ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
