Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just high enough for therapy.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
