My entire life is one complicated drinking game
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
