dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
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she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
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Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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