Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Randomize
