You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
