idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
