My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
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She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
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He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize