I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
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She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
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He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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