I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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