After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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