Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
