I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
