I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
