you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
