Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
