her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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