I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
