I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
