Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
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