we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
Rumble strips road head = magical
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃