This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize