I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.