I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Sponge bath it is.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
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I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
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You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.