That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
