Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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