She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Randomize
