he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
