Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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