Kareoke will never be a sober sport
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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