i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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