i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
