for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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