This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
