New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
BRING THE BAGELS
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
