I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
