Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
