I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
