did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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