So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
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