I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize