I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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