There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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