How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
