just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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