her vagine was all disorganized.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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